I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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