Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
