i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
