Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
