Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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