I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize