Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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