You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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