I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
