I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
