You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
