Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
