Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
