I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
