Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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