I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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