So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
