just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
