I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
