So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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