if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize