She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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