What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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