Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
