I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize