Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
