I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
