I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
