Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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