her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
