he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
