when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
