her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
