Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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