so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
