I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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