is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
