He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
