Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize