I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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