please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
