hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
