News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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