I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
