i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize