I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
