i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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