i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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