Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize