I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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