I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
