Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
