Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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