Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just invented taco cereal.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize