i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
