weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
