we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
