: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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