the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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