So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
